Cool town, evening in the city, dressing so fine and looking so pretty

Being a lady-of-lists, my upcoming holiday of course required hours of scrolling through website after website, looking for various pre-holiday checklists, plans and playlists. Much to my despair, I could find NOTHING telling me exactly what I wanted to hear...'don't worry, there is still time, you don't need 12 weeks of dieting. You will look and feel just splendid'. My squashy, pasty body began to tremble with fear. Without Cosmo or Glamour giving me a holiday plan, what I am to do?? I can't be left to my own devices surely? What if I under pack? I really can't survive two whole weeks without my pineapple print knee socks. And surely this silver lipstick will come in handy, no? So, with 8 tabs on 2 windows, my many girlie bibles, and my trusty Moleskine I began my own compilation of tips and checklist to try and minimise the last minute holiday panic.

Before you go.

Body:

Exfoliate and get rid of that stubble. See those lovely smooth Blake Lively-esque legs? Easy peasy! Although annoyingly hard to maintain. Make sure you get rid of all those whiskers, whether you choose to shave, hair removal, or if you're brave, wax. Now here's the important bit...exfoliate! The quickest way to get gorgeously silky pins. My favourite has to be FCUK's Polished Sugar Scrub if not just for it's incredible smell. Not only does it leave your skin smooth and well buffed, it's also perfect preparation for fake tan.


Tan tan tan. No longer is fake tan the international flag of an Essex Girl! Now, along comes gradual tanning moisturiser to minimise those unsightly streaks and the blinding shade of orange.
Ambre Solaire No Streaks Bronzer is perfect for a quick, easy and even tan.
If you want something a bit longer lasting, but still nice and light, you can't beat Dove's Summer Glow Nourishing Body Lotion (and it's nice and cheap).
If you're serious about you tan, LOreal Sublime Bronze Self-Tanning Fresh Feel Gel does a great job of copying that lovely biscuit colour (but beware of streaky wrists and feet...I had to learn the hard way).


Nails. Ideally we'd all be lucky enough to swan off to a salon and get our feet scrubbed and rubbed to perfection, but sadly this isn't always possible. Fear not! A good nail file and a lick of paint will do the job. Simply give your nails a quick soak (add a couple of drops of olive oil for extra softness), cut and file, push back the cuticles, buff, and choose your colour. For a beach trip, nudes are perfect as any chips are far less noticeable. With dark colours, always try and bring the bottle with you to touch up if you need to.

              A few tips!

-Keep your nail polish in the fridge and it'll dry much faster.

-If you're in a hurry, gently run cold water over your freshly painted nails and they'll dry (still be careful though)

-In cases of gloopy nail polish, a few drops of nail polish remover in the bottle and shaken should make it usable again.



Hair and face. Try and use a hair mask a few days before you go, so your hair is healthy and manageable. I swear by Tresemme Thermal Recovery Repair Tub, as I like to regularly abuse my hair with straighteners, however I'm dying to try out some home remedies! http://www.sheknows.com/beauty-and-style/articles/805126/homemade-hair-masks. For us blondies, John Frieda Sheer Blonde Go Blonder lightening spray is an excellent top up for fading colour.

Make sure you keep your face and neck well moisturised (cleanse, tone, moisturise, listen, repeat and put to use!), and give your teeth a bit of sparkle with Pearl Drops Daily Shine Whitening Toothpaste. A trick to even whiter teeth is, believe it or not, baking soda! A little bit on top of your toothpaste (you can even do it directly on your toothbrush) and it really does help to remove stains.

So by now you should be used to people rushing up to you shouting 'Oh Megan, Transformers just won't be the same without you!', but we're not done yet. You've still got that pesky suitcase. So here's my ESSENTIAL holiday items:

-3 vests/t shirts

-2 skirts

-3 dresses

-3 pairs of shorts

-2 cardigans/jumpers

-3 pairs of shoes: sandals, wedges, heels

-3 bikinis/swim suits.

-Hair brush plus dryer/straightener

-Shampoo and conditioner

-Deodorant and perfume

-Hair ties/clips

-Sun tan lotion/after sun

-Make up (tinted moisturiser, lip balm, and mascara are essential)

-Phone/keys/wallet

-Chargers

-Camera

-Documents-passport, insurance, check in details

-Currency

-Book/magazine/notebook

Of course, this should suffice if your are a sane person, but if you have the need to bring your entire wardrobe like me, I have only one tip: ROLL don't FOLD. You can fit about three times the amount in, and yes, it will most likely crease, but it's worth it if I can bring 8 pairs of shorts. Start with the bigger items, and you'll find that when rolled up, these will take up FAR less space, and then you can simply tuck the smaller things in. Put bikinis/socks/tights inside your shoes, and this will not only save room, but ensure your shoes don't get squashed.

When you get there:

Unpack (don't leave it for later, it will never get done!), freshen up, and go and explore. This will give you a chance to find your bearings and any places you fancy going for a bite to eat. It's probably not a great idea to go out on a messy one on your first night, as you'll no doubt want to wake up fresh and ready to hit the beach the next day. Anyway, happy holidaying, and I'll leave you with some all-important holiday songs!

1.The Lovin' Spoonful-Summer In The City

2. Darwin Deez-Radar Detector

3. Flight Facilities-I Crave You

4. Justice-D.V.N.O

5. Tinie Tempah ft Swedish House Mafia-Miami 2 Ibiza

6. Florence and the Machine-Dog Days Are Over

7. Corrine Bailey Rae-Put Your Records On

8. Battles-Ice Cream

9. Foster the People-Pumped Up Kicks

10. Pete Jorn and Scarlett Johansson-Relator

Out in the dark the world is still rolling, kids in their cars, cigarette smoking

I love a lazy day. A day designed for leggings, wine and bacon sandwiches. And of course what do all of these things orbit around? That's right...television. Whether it's Jamie's Food Revolution, Geordie Shore, or Misbehaving Mums to be, trashy television is at the center of my lazy days. I'll saunter out of bed around 11, make a half-arsed attempt at getting dressed (this usually involves swapping pajama bottoms for trackie bottoms), make a cup or tea and bacon sandwich (none of this BLT shit on a lazy day, I want squishy bread, bacon and ketcup, with maybe a drizzle of maple syrup, yum yum) and then plonk myself in the middle of the sofa and turn on the tv. I pointlessly flick through the channels, all the time knowing I'm going to end up watching a trashy Channel 4 or BBC3 documentary about drunks in Kings College Hospitals or binge eating pregnant women. 'God you disgusting fat slut, you don't deserve children!!' I shout to the range of young mothers smoking 20 a day, honestly believing this will strengthen their baby's heart, whilst munching self-righteously on last nights leftovers and gulping down the Pinot. 'How DARE you treat you body like that!' (gulp, gulp, munch, munch). Of course, it's ok when I do it, because it's just a one off! (ahem) and at least I know it's bad for me, I tell myself over and over again. As the disgust turns to boredom, I know I need to step up my game. 10pm on a Monday approaches and I cannot wait to chastise the snobby brats on E4's Made in Chelsea. How dare they have such nice clothes and money! I want to hate them, truly I do! But uhoh, what's this? Hugo, how could you do that to Millie? Spencer, why Frunda when you can have Caggie! How dare that pompous arse suggest Binky has cellulite!! And just like that...just like I got sucked in to The Only Way Is Essex and Jersey Shore, it's happened...I care. I know it's bad for me, but I can't help it. Like these teen mothers poisoning their babies, I'm poisoning my mind. What makes it worse is that I know it.
Monday night fizzles away in a mixture of excitement and disgust, like when you slump into McDonalds hungover and order not only a Big Mac but chicken nuggets as well. 'Tonight' I tell myself, 'I will watch the news. I shall LISTEN to and ENJOY the news'. Tuesday night arrives. I've swapped my wine for water, my trackies for trousers, and I'm ready to go. I turn on the telly, and disaster strikes. Two words I cannot ignore, under ANY circumstances. Geordie. Shore. No...it can't be...a Geordie Snooki? How can I possibly resist? Well, that's obvious...I can't. Faster than The Situation can sexually assult a girl, I am into my pj's and a bottle of wine. And you know what? I couldn't be happier.

"Totes man, totes, of course"-Fredrik, Made In Chelsea

When the sun says Howdy...

So we've experienced an unusual amount of sunshine here in London recently (yay Global Warming!), meaning the six packs are coming out (of beer of course) and the posh girls once again begin profusely deny any use of fake tan (it's gradual tanning moisturiser, duh). Every morning windows across the city are opened and the rooms are instantly flooded with the scent of distant barbecues; every evening filled with the clash of various radio stations and the clinking of glasses as we take advantage of the many bank holidays.

This month we can expect to see a flood of tourists pouring in for...can you guess? Well, if you can't then lucky you, as it's hard to walk down a street these days without being confronted by Wills and Kate masks (£4!!!), mugs, plates...you name it, it exists, the strangest of these being condoms ('Don't be silly, wrap your Willy!') and fake nails with their portrait on. Insane products aside, I am a bit disappointed to be in Paris at the weekend, missing out on all the street parties and excitement. I must say I had a great Hovis-advert-esque image of everyone carting their dinner tables outside and slow motion laughing and drinking Pimms whilst the kids run around stealing ham sandwiches.

Royal condoms, slogan being 'Lie back and think of England!'

Feel your garden's lacking something? Well fear not! B&Q have launched a pair of Royal Wedding gnomes based on what the couple will look like in 50 years!

Papa John's specially designed pizza....I think I just died inside.

Whether you're already flying your St George's flag proudly out the window, or can't wait for this royal waste of time and money to be over, it is unavoidable, however check out some of these alternative events if you fancy something a bit different http://www.timeout.com/london/feature/965/royal-wedding-events-in-london/2

So whip out the jugs of home made lemonade and strawberries and cream and enjoy the sun whilst it lasts, with or without the Royals!

Drink up baby, stay up all night

In yet another flurry of packing and moving, I am once again settled in lovely London, this time in Camden which is the best place to live. The city is now literally on my doorstep, so there are no excuses not to be frolicking about in this brilliant sunshine we've been having! And what better to do on a sunny afternoon than drink! Yes, it's time to rediscover the joys of day drinking. Sun and London, such a rare but wonderful combination that truly does have a magical effect on people. Gone is the hustle bustle, the awkward silences and reserved British humour...everyone is suddenly alight with joy and laughter as they get together in a pub garden and spend the afternoon sipping away on Pimms. Ok so it's hardly hot, but who cares, we have cashmere shawls for a reason, and you just cant beat a good heavy knit, but the light evenings, daffodils and pastel-y nail polishes have such an uplifting effect on everyone it's hard not to get carried away! So, get yourself down the pub, go see one of these http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/cinemas/outdoor-film-events-feature-232.html and drink yourself into winter!

Mama don't take my Kodachrome away

I don't own any of these photos, they're just ones I found on the following sites:

http://www.epiclylaterd.com

http://www.50yearstorm.net

http://www.them-thangs.com/

http://ffffound.com/

http://jjjjound.com/

http://9gag.com/

The ladies of London town throw one last glance over their shoulders, blow a kiss, and they're gone forever.

Along with the recent decision to move back to London, arrived a tsunami of nostalgia for one of the best cities on the world. I have never been to a city with so much personality and flavour, from the greasy spoons packed with east end accents tucking into bacon sarnies and a cuppa on a Saturday morning, to those sipping away at a nice cup of Earl Grey accompanied with a delicate plate of scones at Claridges. We may bicker amongst ourselves, but much like a large, dysfunctional family, Londoners will always have somewhat of an unspoken bond. Yes, the weather is mostly shit, there are an awful lot of pigeons, and it can be a tad expensive, but these factors are nothing compared to the rest. Whilst New York has fashion, Paris has romance, and Dubai has wealth, London has culture, diversity and history. It really is a difficult place to be bored in, with endless entertainments for those of any age, gender or nationality. So, taking this surge of national pride and channelling it into something vaguely productive, here is my mini London Bucket List.

1.) Walk from South Bank to Camden- One hungover morning I found myself penniless and without my trusty Oyster card (if you're not familiar with this, they really are the key to the city...load it up with cash at any tube station and get on any tube or bus in the city for a fair price, much better value than tickets), but with a few hours to kill. South Bank has always been a favourite of mine, filled with street performers, artists, a small funfair, a skate park, and just by the London eye, so I thought this would be a good place to have a little wonder. Over the bridge and you come to Trafalgar Square, again, always filled with some kind of entertainment...up along to Piccadilly Circus, Bond Street, New Bond Street, onto Oxford Street, down through to Regents Park, and ta-da! You're in one of the best places in London...Camden! Whilst it helps to be familiar with the area, it really is difficult to get lost in London cause you can't walk for more than five minutes without coming across a tube station.

2.) Go to Harrods- One of the most famous (and deservingly so) attractions in London, Harrods is one of my favourite places to spend the afternoon...wondering around picking out furniture for your imaginary mansion, cooing over the puppy pugs and Siamese kittens, and indulging in the chocolate room. Whilst it is immensely enjoyable to strut around spewing out the 'oh yah Daddy bought me this in aubergine last week', it really isn't an overly snobby place, and you can pick up some reasonably priced items. As I've said before, the Suckoa from the chocolate room is from another planet, as are their white chocolate milkshakes, and the food court offers a taste of every kind of food you can imagine (they even had a Laduree!)

3.) Eat!- For some bizarre reason, England has a reputation for crappy food, something which I just don't understand. Wondering around the incredible streets of China Town and it's near impossible not to get lured in to a cheap yet delicious buffet, Portobello has an exhausting range of unique and quirky café's and deli's (my favourite being Arancina, an Italian cafe distinguishable by the car in its window) and the endless British pubs dishing up all the classics...steak and ale pie, bangers and mash, toad in the hole, sticky toffee pud, washed down with the all important pint.

4.) Shop- Whilst Oxford Street is the most popular shopping destination, if you're looking for something a bit different, London is swarming with vintage and antiques. Just off Oxford Street is Carnaby Street, filled with fashion boutiques, particularly in the wonderful Kingly Court. Just round the corner is Beyond Retro, a favourite amongst English teens, selling a fantastic range of vintage clothing, from the elegant and chic to the downright bizarre. Another great place for vintage is Camden Market, I for one can spend hours wondering through the stables markets, almost always discovering a new stall or hidden shops. It's antiques are fantastic for one of a kind gifts and difficult finds.

5.) Drink- Guaranteed walk down any road in London and you will stumble across at least one pub or bar. Why pubs haven't really caught on in other countries I will never understand. There is nothing better than a night down at the pub with a dozen of your friends and a few too many ciders, and whilst many imagine a stuffy shit hole filled with flabby balding men playing darts, this is not the case. Whilst pubs are fantastic for a casual night, London has some of the greatest and most legendary clubs and bars in the world, the crème de la crème of these being Ronnie Scott's, arguably the best jazz club in London, where it's hard to find an iconic musician who hasn't performed there. Another staple in London's night life is GAY, a place I'm pretty sure it is impossible to have a bad time at, which boasts one of the most electric atmospheres I've ever experienced.

So, before we get labelled as tea-drinking, crumpet-munching, sarcastic (all of which we most definitely are) snobs with wonky teeth and an unnatural fetish for the royal family (not so much), I challenge anyone to visit London's iconics and not get swept up by their unique charm.

Macarons!

Lying in bed on a lazy Sunday browsing through foody blogs to try and awaken the sweet toothed girl that I know must be in here somewhere (I've always favoured savoury), and I noticed one thing that kept popping up. Now macarons have always seemed to me to be a posh-people food that didn't really enter my radar, but the bright colours and bubbling textures caught my eye on this particular lazy Sunday. Despite never having tasted a macaron (which, whether right or wrong I will always pronounce as macaroons), I immediately knew that these meringue based desserts were the perfect thing to coax me back into sugar land. I could just picture myself curled up on the sofa in my new chunky knit jumper with a big pot of tea (ignoring the fact that I live in 30 degree heat) munching away on dozens of flavours of macarons. With little hesitation I popped down to the nearest place to pick up some macarons...Paul's bakery. Whilst not the most highly recommended place, the real lovers favouring Laduree or Pierre Herme, you can get a box of 12 for around 35DHS (around 5 or 6 quid).

Top to bottom we have: Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, lemon, coffee and pistachio.

I've never been one for fruit flavoured dessert (aren't we fussy today), but that didn't stop me scoffing them down...For me, the winner was pistachio, closely followed by vanilla, and then chocolate. Being somewhat of a macaron amateur, I'm not sure whether it was to do with the flavourings or just the quality, but I found the fruit flavours a lot chewier. The official losing of the macaron virginity was at a fancy brunch where they had the most beautiful, melt in the mouth textures, which was what I had been hoping for with these. The more classic flavours (not plain, classic) I found, had such a satisfying first bite..hard outer shell that just fell away when you bit into it, filling your mouth with more delicious a flavour than you could think possible, helped by the soft and creamy ganache or creams inside. Whilst the Paul macarons temporarily satiated my hunger, I am now on the hunt for the best I can find. 

Whilst Laduree macarons can set you back a bit, it is truly a case of quality rather than quantity...from the beautiful presentation to the incredible range of flavours, now available in these http://www.laduree.fr/en/maisons/monde countries.