Go away you rainsnout, go away blow your brains out, November.

Due to it being November, one of the strongest contenders to Worst Month of the Year, I feel perfectly entitled to have a moan. Not only is it all of a sudden Arctic weather, but Gillian McKeith is back on our screens. Now, for those of you lucky enough to have glided through life without knowledge of her existence, let me briefly fill you in. From what I have gathered (myself being privileged enough to have never felt the need to watch her show) Ms McKeith is vaguely famous for faking a doctorate and poking about in people's poo. For some utterly bizarre reason, ITV deemed this enough to earn her a place on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Although I usually couldn't care less about the show, this year I've given it a go. First off, let's start by saying that this woman has a fear of insects, heights and water, not to mention she's a vegan, so why the absolute fuck would you go on a program in the middle of a sodding jungle that requires you to do physical challenges involving, guess what! lots of insects, heights and water. And then we get on to the fainting...this woman faints at every given opportunity. Not only does she faint, she actually swoons, hand to forehead and everything. She has claimed to be 'hearing voices'. No shit sweetheart, you are in a jungle filled with huge amounts of crew. Now rumours are surfacing that she's claiming to be pregnant. This is coming from a 51 year old woman with apparent mental issues who resembles a camel's vagina. Anyway, Brett Domino has summed up my feeling perfectly, in his surprisingly catchy 'Gillian McKeith Song'. I recommend a listen...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqGGrO5hjy8&feature=related.
Now we get on to X Factor's Katie Waisell. I cannot be bothered to express my hatred for this woman-child any more, let's just say FRODO and move on.
Exercise. Right, this is pretty unexplored territory for me, but today I decided to have a little bike ride. I sailed down the roads, trees flying past me, wind in my hair, nothing to it, right? I couldn't have been more wrong. Whilst getting to my destination was no bother, I had failed to consider the torture I would go through on the way back. After 10 minutes of furious peddling, my legs has turned to jelly, my cheeks were an unhealthy shade of scarlet, and and I was huffing and puffing like the wolf in that little story about pigs. So after that tiresome ordeal, I have decided cycling is definitely not the sport for me, and I shall be sticking firmly to dance mat, because that counts...

Whilst I eagerly await the delights that mark the end of November, I am currently perfectly happy being a grumpy little shit for six(or is it seven?) more days.

Home Comforts

November is a month where you are fully entitled to sit around in a big jumper all day slowly making your way through every bit of food in your house. Not only do you need to train your stomach for when Christmas hits you (obviously), but those worries about not squeezing in to that skimpy little summer dress can be buried amongst layers of scarves and sweaters. I am currently sat here with a big cup of tea surrounded by Terry’s chocolate orange wrappings, actually wearing Ugg boots, and I am entirely guilt-free. It is fucking FREEZING outside, which means I have no qualms about wrapping myself up in a blanket and watching endless amounts of television, my waist band slowly expanding (you need an extra layer of flab to keep you snug in the winter non?).

For me, winter is about indulging in those home comforts; those movies you’ve seen dozens of times, meals that always put a smile on your face, and music that you just want the rest of the world to hear. So here are some of my favourite comforts this winter…

Films

1. Breakfast at Tiffany’s- Obviously. No matter how many times I see this I cannot get over Hepburn’s natural elegance and grace, and think it’s still one of the most stylish films of all time.

2. Charlie Bartlett- Anton Yelchin (see him in Alpha Dog and Star Trek) has stolen my heart so many times watching this film; it has an adolescent charm that could give Juno a run for its money.

3. Cry Baby- For some reason, this is surprisingly unwatched, it is a complete cult classic that will have any Johnny Depp fan (therefore most females in existence) swooning. The tongue-in-cheek film pokes fun at cheesy musical films, whilst remaining cool and funny, and stars an exceptional cast.

4. Away We Go- One of last years most underrated films in my opinion, you cannot help but adore the couple in the film, and pray to god that one day you fall in love like they do.

5. Pretty in Pink- Or for that matter, pretty much anything by John Hughes (director of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club etc), the ‘brat pack’ never fail to entertain me.

Food/drink

1. Stew and dumplings- For me there is absolutely nothing more comforting than stew and dumplings on a cold winters day, I like Jamie Oliver’s recipe the most…http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/home-cooking-skills/lamb-stew-with-lovely-dumplings

2. Hot chocolate- My grandma used to make me a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream every night before bed whenever I stayed with her, and ever since, I have been a hot chocolate fanatic. If you ever get the chance to go to the Chocolate Bar at Harrods, try out the Suckao, which is pretty much a cup of the tastiest melted chocolate ever.

3. Bangers and mash- Sausages and mashed potato soaked in gravy is something everyone needs to try at some point, I don’t care if that makes me clichéd and overly English.

4. Roast dinner- I’m talking the full monty. Roast chicken, stuffing, carrots, roast potatoes, and roast sweet potatoes, parsnips, gravy (I like to avoid my greens in a roast but that’s just because I’m still 9 inside). My mum always coated the roast potatoes in a thin layer of goose fat to make them extra crunchy.

5. Sticky toffee pudding- A surprisingly simple dish to make, and just so very tasty. I’m not a big desert fan due to weird fear of sponge, but I’m a sucker for a nice gloopy, sweet pudding, which this most definitely is.

Music

1. Modern Day Romance- Jagga

2. Marsh Blood- The Whiskers

3. Fairytale Lullaby- Bombay Bicycle Club

4. What to Say- Born Ruffians

5. When You Walk in the Room- Fyfe Dangerfield

6. Your Song- Ellie Goulding

7. Proof- I am Kloot

8. Daydreaming- Dark Dark Dark

9. Lawn Knives- Gobble Gobble

10. Not in Love- Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith

Everything else

1. Magazines- I have such a problem with magazines, I seem unable to leave any newsagent or supermarket without one, my must haves being Vogue, Elle, Total Film, Harpers and Empire.

2. Misfits- It’s back, fuck yes. Is it just me or has Nathan got even more irresistible?

3. X Factor- I am absolutely hooked, sorry. Blame Harry Styles for his insane good looks, Rebecca for her absurdly beautiful voice, and Katie Weasel for making me despise her so much that I MUST see her leave.

Happy Nuggets.

Have you noticed how everyone has those individual little things that instantly lift their spirits? This morning I was aimlessly wondering around the house when a little glint of gold on the bookshelf caught my eye. I wave of happiness hit me as I realised I had rediscovered one of the loveliest (if not then by far the prettiest) books I own. The faded gold cover of 'The Goddess Experience' by the fabulous Gisele Scanlon, adorned with a cherry blossom tree and fabric bird makes me immediately betray the old 'never judge a book by its cover, as I know something great is contained. Sitting down at my desk with a cup of sugary tea, two slices of toast and Carole King playing gently in the background, I realise that it is these little things that make me happy. Of course an expensive meal and a nice pair of new shoes puts a big smile on my face, it is these little personal things that really count. A friend of mine once told me that she and her mother refer to these as 'nuggets', which I have never forgotten, so here is a collection of 'happy nuggets' that I hope rouse a flicker of happiness, or at least recognition...

-The relief when you remember the name of a song, or the name of that 'Oooooh where have I seen that actors face before'.
-Comfort food. Everyone has their favourite...mine being Colman's tuna and pasta bake (don't knock it til you've tried it), preferably with melted cheese and crushed crisps on top, which I ate religiously as a child.
-A text just to see how you are.
-Post. Particularly an unexpected postcard/letter/present. My dad's lovely girlfriend sent me a parcel a few weeks before my birthday containing my favourite little products like chocolate face masks and cherry Carmex.
-A whole day to yourself with nothing to do except wrap yourself up in a big snugly jumper and watch your favourite films.
-A favourite little cafe or restaurant that feels so personal to you.
-The feeling when you've finished some tedious task, especially knowing you've done a good job.
-A cup of tea. I cannot fathom the idea of going a whole day with out one (lots of milk, 2 sugars please).
-When the tube/train/bus comes straight away and you get your favourite seat.
-Knowing someone so well that you can exchange a look and both fall about laughing.
-Hearing a song and completely relating to the lyrics.
-Waking up early, then remembering it's the weekend and going back to sleep.
-A warm towel/dressing gown when you get out of the bath.
-Sitting around with your friends after a night out trying to remember what happened.
-When you finally get something you've been struggling with completely perfect.


As the amazing Gisele says...'Happiness is the freedom you feel doing twirly, twirls in the rain'.

Vogue December Issue

There’s something about Vogue that can make a girl feel instantly better. That perfect cover, adorned with those oh-so familiar five letters, an elegant, beautiful woman on the front inviting you to join her world for a blissful hour, allowing you to close your eyes and be transported into a cloud of flowing Galliano ruffles and abstract Gareth Pugh patterns. For a short period of time, you can imagine that it is your feet alerting the pavement of your trademark red Louboutin souls, your neck covered in classic Chanel pearls, and that it is you sipping on a glass of chilled Armand de Brignac.

The traditionally themed December issue this year focuses on ‘stars’, from rising stars in the industry to horoscopes of style. The pages are awash with glittering hues of blues, blacks, purples and silvers, chunky jewellery, ruffles, tassels and other bursts of movements. This season is above movement, surprise, bursts of light and colour. Christopher Kane leads the way with his sensational star spangled midnight blue dresses, as seen on Claudia Schiffer at the Vogue/Armani Fashion’s Night Out Party.

As I flip through the glossy pages, I see something that makes my heart skip a beat…can it really be? Yep, you guessed it (well you probably didn’t but still), Lanvin is joining the likes of Karl Lagerfield, Stella McCartney, Jimmy Choo and Comme des Garcons (have you guessed it yet?) with his upcoming line at H & M. Naturally this had me giddy with excitement at the once ridiculous idea of me swathed in his signature cocktail dresses. Elbows at the ready, this will be revealed November 23^rd.

The young and upcoming always reserve a place in Vogue, whether they’re models, designers, artists or musicians. I’ve picked my favourite of the bunch (aka the ones I’ve just about heard of)…

Devlin- Despite being in my bad books as I was supposed to work with him over the weekend but he hurt his ankle, there is no denying that this kid has talent. One of the few underground grime artists to make it big in the charts, Devlin’s gritty tracks feature lyrics reminiscent of the likes of Jamie T and Professor Green. His debut album ‘Bud, Sweat and Beers’ is out now (skip to London City).

Nina Porter- After taking a tumble at the Burberry Prorsum catwalk show in London Fashion week, model Nina Porter recovered in true Naomi style, and bounced back in a way that very few models can. At the age of 17, Nina (who attends Camden School for Girls) has already modelled for Miu Miu, and stars along side Lily Donaldson and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Burberry Beauty make up line campaign. Look out for Nina in upcoming American Vogues, where she is being shot by Terry Richardson.

Two Door Cinema Club- This alternative electro pop band from Northern Ireland have been doing the XFM and NME rounds for a while now, and are beginning to be recognised by others. After discovering the band on http://www.blalocksirp.com/ a while back, I instantly fell in love with their beautiful lyrics and upbeat chorus’. Having opened for Delphic, Foals and Metronomy, Two Door Cinema Club are set to do a two week tour of US and Canada, co-headlining with Tokyo Police Club. Their album ‘Tourist History’ is out now (skip to Undercover Martyn, Passion Pit also do a great remix).

Cineroleum.com- After a surge in popularity for pop up cinemas, the Cineroleum transforms a derelict petrol station on Clarkenwell Road into a cinema built by young artists, designers and architects. The Cineroleum, built from donated and found materials, shows classic films four nights a week. With a nod to fifties American drive through and the forgotten era of cinema, The Cineroleum reminds us that something great can come from the thousands of derelict buildings in London.

Another issue of Vogue and my imagination is filled with bubbles of liquid gold champagne and ripples of Chanel silk, drunk with the dreams that one day it will be me gracing the pages of this iconic magazine (yes I’m sure…). 

Christmas.

There’s something about the beginning of November that sends me into an irrational tornado of glee, excitement, and above all; insanity. Today was spent innocently trawling around Windsor, until what do I stumble across? Red Cups. A familiar shiver crept up my spine as a somewhat fanatical grin plastered itself across my face. How I longed to cradle a steaming cup of hazelnut hot chocolate in my mitten clad hands, nose bright with chill. Yes, I actually consider Starbucks Christmas menu as a seasonal landmark. Hurriedly, I rushed inside and ordered a drink, determined to sit outside and endure the cold just to be part of my own personal tradition. With my manic grin melting into smug satisfaction, I realised Christmas is all about these moments. Everyone has their moment of recognition of what is approaching. For some, it’s when the first advent calendars go on sale in mid October (I’m partial to Maltesers), for others, it’s the moment the youngest member of their family clumsily scrambles on to a chair an places an angel wonkily on the top of the tree. For me, it’s the mouth watering Marks and Spencer adverts, shopping on a busy Saturday in Covent Garden, Coca Cola’s ‘Holidays are coming’ and of course, Turkey Feast sandwiches.

Feeling inspired, I jumped straight onto Google, and sent out a mass text to determine what exactly Christmas means to different people, as well as going on a hunt of the best festive icons…

'When I say Christmas, what comes into your head?'

'Trees. And Christmas dinner at my grandma’s country house with the whole family and going for a walk after dinner with my dog and stuff, or waking up at like 6am from excitement and my mum putting a massive Santa thing full of pressies at the end of my bed.'

'Christmas is going to be great this year - the WHOLE family will be together. It’s been 7 years since everyone was last home. I can’t wait to get home and bake and cook and sing and decorate and wrap gifts and go carolling and hopefully there will be snow.'

'Christmas to me is about family and friends coming together, not some religious festival. Anyone that sends me a card with "Jesus" or anything on does not get one the following year.'

'Christmas for me is spending time with family and friends, christmas dinner, lots of lovely presents and of course Eastenders.'

Whilst some argue that Christmas has become a greedy and materialistic event that was once a religious celebration, I disagree. Christmas is about surround yourself with the people and things you love. It's about sitting in front of the fire with your friends watching cheesy rom-coms, having to hack to top of the tree off just to fit it in the room, becoming increasingly frustrated as the Sellotape gets tangled, and above everything; roast potatoes. Obviously.